around 50-60 songs were written in total - i don't have them anymore, unless mason etc has a copy consider them lost/destroyed (he had some of them last time i checked but many were missing)
... i wouldn't know quite what to say because i did not believe in god or know that he cared about people or appreciated what christians were saying or pray until jesus revealed to me what he was real and that he was god. there were a fair few things i believed in, and he showed himself through them rather than despite them - but they weren't anything connected to a moral law. (partly why i enjoy so much depicting him as being "in videogames" etc - there is a "testimony" i mean to write on the matter but it is long and i don't understand it yet.)
one of the rules was "avoid unnecessary use of the computer/smartphone", which i relax on the sunday. ... tbh i have been slacking a bit on the meaning of "unnecessary" and "avoid", so that i am sometimes doing productive work like working on the tracker on weekdays, and "stopping particular things when i notice i am distracted" rather than cutting it out entirely - on some occasions i have decided it is fine/necessary to talk online during the week.
i'll see what i can do!
week 2 breakpost, drawing, new album
date: february 2 2024
happy candlemas everyone.
thank you!
!!! wow!!! thank you!!! (... for some reason i was thinking of changing my artist name, but i saw this and changed my mind.)
... and here is a drawing of jesus i did. today i saw that had someone made it past the "DONKEY KONG KILLSCREEN" after 44 years
see you all next week!
week 1 break of using the computer, art, drawings etc
date: january 26 2024
internet fast is going well. my friends in real life signed me up for "exodus 90" and i am enjoying the rigors. (though, it does slip a little on occasion.) - happy sunday, and see you all next week! (with a new sangcorp album, hopefully!)
YAY!!!! WOW!!!!
some of these are on bluesky, feel free to follow!
last q + announcement
date: january 19 2024
HOPEFULLY ... i'll be there for the very first time soon. (laughs)
(starting on a bit of an internet fast starting this week, i'll try to keep up with the posts/asks when allows. god bless you all!)
qs~ qs~
date: january 17 2025
to my friends wedding in america ... ! i might be able to go but im crossing fingers until i know for sure.
even the edgiest of edge boys love mary ...
... i think the ingame lore is that he was frozen for 50 years ... but in the old days (under dr. robotnik's grandpa) was her best friend when she was a child, she got killed under some circumstance though ... i have a friend that knows more about this lore than i do, but i am mapping the event mentally to "the fall of the temple in jerusalem in 70AD"
more q + feast day
date: january 12 2025
the Eucharist is god himself in flesh brought to earth and at the church the whole of the earth can enter into a marriage (Γῆ marriage...?) with him and eat him and become more and more like him through eating him ... is this "the vibe" most people are looking for? its such a core need that people will look for it in a thousand places before they know the sublimity of what it is they seek and where to really find it ... that was definitely the case for me. such a person is welcome in the church, always.
(happy feast day of the baptism of the lord, everybody)
comment regarding the tracker
date: january 8 2025
thank you for the song. ... i never found another coder but ai is good enough that i have a prototype that works pretty great so far, haha
havent written a full length song with yet but its veeery extensible. you can create any number of "volume", "pitch" etc columns simply by defining them on the fly and then providing rules for how they produce an output. you can basically do anything numpy allows you to...
(some things aren't quiite right yet, but basic things like waveforms etc works.)
q+a
date: january 7 2025
if you squint a bit, these are basically the same picture ... (from one "H.M." to another?)
one of the fun facts is that domino's pizza ran an ad for a "collaborative app" with hatsune miku, it seems to have disappeared from the internet ... but the CEO of domino's pizza tried making a catholic-oriented planned city called "ave maria, florida"... "dominus tecum"!
(i may or may not have a surprise of my own on this topic.)
my priest has a very cool take on this - apparently there's nothing in the gospel that states outright that they were kings or even three people in particular ... (the eastern church seems to think there were twelve magi.) ... maybe they were these guys.
besides pokemon and digimon and sailor moon etc (and ulysses 31...!) on the tv, i quite viscerally remember this anime "nurse mom" type character in a magazine when i was like 8 or 9 years old... there was quite a few of these in cartoons at the time.
now i am thinking about jerusalem, our mother the church - the hospital for sinners...
thank you!!! (...i think i know this ask is from, hehe)
drawing anime eyes
date: january 4 2025
anime eyes are much cooler than i thought they were! here is a picture of me "drawing anime eyes from memory" and then looking up what they looked like so i could draw them.
cleaned out my cupboard + drawing
date: january 4 2025
my dad had a bunch of books in my bedroom cupboard from when i was a kid ... i moved them to another room. it was nice seeing some of these again, my cupboard is a lot cleaner now though and i can put my own books/clothes and stuff in it now. maybe i'll take a picture soon.
gen 2 and gen 3 are the very strongly imprinted ones ... i'm sure they've only gotten better since then, though. something i admired in johto was its continuity with the first game, as well as the coming back to an old location that has changed with time, like an old bedroom ... quite fitting given what i did today. for hoenn, i liked the secret bases and the endless expanse feeling of the water regions (... i was the one that liked that part of the games)
come and take it.
hung out with friends + drawings
date: january 3 2025
one of my friends who i hung out with today, who is a muslim, took me to a mosque yesterday for the first time - i watched them do what they were doing, i have a lot of questions...
a particular detail that struck me is the whole world converging in prayer on a single point, five times a day (often with big LCD screens showing the times)
drawing i made yesterday.
it occurs to me that the idea of the Son of God might be palatable to muslims if they understood the gospel as "a parable told about god", like stories and tales with metaphors drawn from creation, and told to little children - "Q: what is Allah ﷻ like to the one who believes? A: like a baby wrapped in his mother's arms, accepting her warmth and milk, so does Allah ﷻ accept the prayer of one who believes." - "Q: and what is the mercy of Allah ﷻ like? A: it is like, when a disbeliever puts a righteous person to torture and death, but the sun went down and the sun went up, and the grave could not hold him - indeed, so too the mercy of the Most Compassionate is like this, and no-one may put an end to it."
i thought that this is the very way that christ himself preached, and to people who saw him as "god's prophet", no less - and then i realised that as the Word of god, he himself is god's parable - a confession of love which has never not been recited, and which will never end.
now its happy new year. ... may jesus and his mother mary bless you!!! 蛇🦶
i have been informed by a "reliable source" that these "high flying cranes" wish to bless you as well.
HAPPY NEW YEAR + dream pictures
date: december 31 2024
i drew the form of jesus thats in my bandcamp picture.
(i draw him like this sometimes)
here are some pictures from a dream i had too.
old... album? & q+a
date: december 30 2024
about two years ago i started a blog somewhere else on the internet and set myself the task of writing a song every day, for a saint or feast if there was any celebrated on that day ... i lasted for about a month and kind of lost steam near the end but it was pretty fun. tne blog isnt there anymore but i remembered i still had these so i put them on bandcamp lol
theres abt 50 songs on here, a few of them are on soundcloud already, enjoy.
yay!!! thanks, thats a good connection. i hope you enjoyed your sunday too!
thanks, happy #websurfing
don't mind me ~
date: december 29 2024
drawings + story
date: december 29 2024
he's not as limited as ba'alstoise ... or venuishtar.
---
TALES FROM THE FATHERS...
one day, a holy abbot was trading with stocks using the monastery's computer. his brother noticed it and rebuked him sternly, saying. "this is worldly behaviour!" - but the holy abbot responded, "i have received a vision in a dream, and we will all soon be rich, we need only wait three more days."
the next day, the monk returned and again saw him trading stocks. "we are not to involve ourselves with money." - the holy abbot responded, "i have received a vision in a dream, and we will all soon be rich, we need only wait two more days."
the next day, the monk returned and saw him once more trading stocks. "surely this vision is of the devil! 'no man can serve god and mammon.'" - but the holy abbot responded again, "i have received a vision in a dream, and we will all soon be rich, we need only wait one more day." ...
the next day, the monk returns and the abbot says, "my son, i have sold our stock." ... the next moment, the graph on the screen went haywire, as the stock shoots up in value immediately after he sold, to many times its value ... this was too much for the monk - for three days, his abbot has said that everyone would all soon be rich, but now he has sold his stock just before it went up! he scolded his abbot sharply - "now you have done it! surely this vision of yours has led you into prelest, since for three days, you have said that everyone would all soon be rich, but you have gambled all your wealth and now it is worth much more than what you had sold it for." ... "ah, but my son", the holy abbot replied, "i had no intention of gaining any money, but of giving it away ... now, i have given away a gift worth more than i had to begin with, and i too have been given a gift greater than all these, for 'the one who gives away what he has shall be rich in heaven!'"
the monk, in awe at these words, humbled himself and repented immediately...
---
a variant telling of this story, from the low country.
one day, a brother in a benedictine monastery had been gambling with coins on the monastery computer, for at that time there had not been a papal bull condemning such practice. his brother noticed the screen with its varying red and green lines, and asked him a question, "brother, i notice that you are happy when there are green lines on the screen, but that you are even happier when there are red lines on the screen." - to which the brother responded, "yes, my brother, that is correct - for when the line is green, it means we have been given a great gift from god. but when the line is red, i have just given my brother a great gift in alms, and then how great shall be our gift be from god!"
more q&a
date: december 28 2024
thank you !!! merry christmas !!! (its still christmas until the feast of the epiphany so i can post this.)
chiptune is made on trackers - digital fusion is a sort of second-order style imitation of "music typically made on trackers" (+ early synthesiser and midi music) but on sequencers.
(the term DTM, or "desk-top music" in japan is used for a similar genre of music)
a few lessons when i was a teenager ... i am not especially gifted at it, my brother is a better pianist than i am.
on being born + new sangcorp album (Christmas Day)
date: december 25 2024
merry christmas to you all. (catholics in england often like saying "happy christmas", i noticed a few people saying it at midnight mass...!)
if you are on catholic twitter for a while, there are repeating patterns in the tweets you will have on the feed. one of them, which seemingly hasn't stopped even in the days leading up to christmas, is catholics and protestants arguing about the virgin mary - without passing judgment on something ultimately quite sensitive, i am just going to leave a strange webcomic here on the difficulty many people have with honouring their mother.
i will tell you a story, its coming up to the five year anniversary of when it happened. i met a friend on soundcloud in 2012 when i was a teenager who was a fan of my music, only a few months into when i started releasing it publicly - since then he has become fabulously wealthy with tens of thousands of followers on twitter, 100k+ followers on tiktok etc - for seven years i was writing the music to a videogame he was making that probably would have set me up for life once it had released, but a combination of a mental breakdown and severely distorted life choices up until this point caused me to yell at him, and i was immediately fired. ... he was one of my close friends, but for a long time now he has not said a word to me.
there is another person, who a few years prior to this, released a videogame that is very well-known - probably top 10 if not top 3 most popular solo-made videogames on the internet - about a year after he released this game, he messaged me on twitter excitedly asking if i was going to release an album ... i had not made a serious solo album, and still haven't, but because of the surprise, someone very excitedly replied to him with a joke ep that i made in 2014 album about gamergate - he then somewhat understandably retracted the post. he later had a song on a staffcirc album, but didn't publicise the release of the album, and a misunderstanding about his not publicising the release of the album caused me to have a breakdown in his emails that lasted several years where i confessed to several seriously disordered things and begged for him not to leave me - he told me to go to a therapist and also disappeared - this happened about a year before the first event, it was more or less to the exact day, right around christmas. there are things that i do not know quite how to get into, but around this time i started to seriously believe that god was real, that he had communicated himself by name and had left exact, particular details of himself and myself through the events occuring to me - i realised he had been contacting me my whole life, and since then we have been friends.
its a very sad world looking for "people who will give you a leg up" - and probably sadder having received it and still feeling empty and full of want. thats how it felt for me at least. i do not know how these two people are doing anymore, except by the externals i can see on social media, but recently i felt bad at the thought that they didn't have the experience that i had - because i realised that i had finally met my friend, someone who i had been looking for my whole life, but i had only realised this in loss and in humiliation. i hope they are friends with him too. about a year or two later, as i was coming into the church, i suddenly and dramatically lost the vast majority of the friends i had made on twitter, as well in chiptunes, for whom i had written about a thousand songs over the course of ten years - i hope they know the friend i have found as well.
i have been toying with the design for the sangcorp album art, theres a few things stil to go. as well as it being autobiographical, there are a few "disinvested" puns and fun - the king is born in loss and poverty wrapped in swaddling clothes in a feeding trough - the bread of life. at his side is a burrito wrapped in foil, another "bread wrapped in swaddling" - "burrito" means "little donkey", and a little donkey is there adoring him. christ rode on a little donkey into jerusalem, and just as "yoshi" (since "burrito galaxy" parodies "mario galaxy") is also a sort of little donkey, the christ's name is "yehoshua", a little king on a donkey proclaiming his country. as the seed of the woman, a seed become human flesh, he is a little pink bean, just as the burrito at his side is full of beans. elsewhere, a little blue bean is hugging a large blue bean who is her (and his) mom.
... we have a good god - he have made every single detail of the world, but the highest purpose for which he made it all was to share it with us, as though it were a world made for us, and only for us - an indie game woven together in love, in secret for his beloved, like tolkien writing special christmas stories with many paintings for his children, with little easter eggs and in-jokes hidden around the house. we lose nothing of the fullness of life so long as we know him, for every role in a game that two children play together is contained in the joy i have when i play the game with him - no matter how cold he is or how stricken with loss he is, he is smiling, and more and more, i am learning that i am too - in a stadium, it is the man who is lowest down who is in the centre, that everyone high up in the stands came to see - even though he who is in the centre is isolated from them all, and cannot see nor make out any of their faces. on the stage together, sharing the same microphone, we are singing as though it were only him and me.
i had something funny lined up for this post like "lion meat" (laughs) uh, the default favourite food for ness in earthbound is "steak", its fitting because as both "𐤀" and "𐤕", christ is both "beef" (bf?) and "stake". (joke is left as an exercise to the reader)
um, i like pizza... and mints lol. and chocolate. ... hmm, and lamb curry and lamb chops, and mcdonalds hamburger, and coconut thai green curry, and risotto with pine nuts. and cinnamon crunch, and cocoa pops. and when i was a kid my dad put toast in a pan with eggs and sprinkled sugar over it, and my mum at pesach still sometimes takes matza and crumbles it into a pan and mixes it with eggs and puts jam on it. i also like steak especially in sandwich form (its fun cutting it into strips when i barely cooked it at all and going "it'll cook the rest of the way in the sandwich!!!" ...) ... and also ramen and spicy noodles. AND popcorn, i sometimes get an enormous clear bags of salty popcorn on the way home from mass, and i will be holding it in one hand, and then i will also be holding a huge bottle of water in the other hand.
more drawings + drawing together (O Emmanuel)
date: december 23 2024
its a drawing only i understand ... merry christmas for when it comes.
(... its also hannukah soon, so i came up with a funny counting system.)
i continue to be astonished at the depth of this cartoon. did people still believe that the christianity was just "surface aesthetics" ... ? well someone put this there.
wow!!! yay!!!
q&a/fandoms musing + announcement (O Rex Gentium)
date: december 22 2024
thank you !!! yaaaay !!!
oh thank you! happy sunday. i'm going to a midnight mass, i've asked a friend who likes taking me to the fssp parishes that do the old rite of the mass ... i wanna see what their christmas masses are like, i bet it'd be special... they're usually very well attended too.
i thought, theres a lot of seemingly random things that can enchant a fandom and make it feel "like the scriptures" - for example, in touhou (e.g.)
there's a split between the old touhou games, that ran on obscure retro computer (pc-98), and the new games, that run on any regular computer ... computers feel like big altars, and so one gets the sense that they are two different "temples" which belong to two different "covenants", like the old and the new testaments of scripture. - especially if the old games were the ones from "before it got really popular" ... people like thinking of new reimu and old reimu as separate characters, like the church of the new testament and the jerusalem of the old testament ...
there will be a new sangcorp album releasing this week!
pokeymon (O Oriens)
date: december 21 2024
its not all of them but it is a few of them!
vedic christmas homily (O Clavis David)
date: december 20 2024
first paragraph from the isha-upanishad, of which there is the following famous quote:
"If all the Upanishads and all the other scriptures happened all of a sudden to be reduced to ashes, and if only the first verse in the Ishopanishad were left in the memory of the Hindus, Hinduism would live forever."
... in our age, we seem to have forgotten everything in the scriptures except that at christmas time, from an unseen place inside a big bag, santa claus, "the father of christmas" takes out from it and reveals to us a gift of tremendous value. i hope we will live forever too.
openMPT!
(T_T forgot i had an old version of the blog open and i accidentally reverted to an older version ... its mostly ok now.)
four tree-based compositions + decompositions (O Radix Jesse)
date: december 19 2024
good morning.
notes:
· another "fair daughter", "cirno" has a variant pronunciation "sir-no", and "zion" has a variant "si-on". thus, "har cion" (chiruno)
· the arrow motif doubles as nails/thorns
· "manipulatation of water" and the baptist is a no brainer, fittingly it is the "kappa" which precedes the "lamb"
· "aron kamuy" is an anagram melding the hebrew for "ARK" and the proto-japonic for "GOD" - as with our mother, the word of god is contained within.
couldn't sleep until i found this. (laughs) let no-one think that there is no membrane between rabbinical judaism and our faith...
questions/answers (O Adonai)
date: december 18 2024
the standard counsels are helpful here - having a regular prayer schedule (esp. the rosary) that you get through each day, time before the blessed sacrament, holy mass, frequent communion ...
not being idle on the computer or "spinning the roulette wheel" too many times - the algorithm in this day and age will feed you a lot of "normal pictures" but its hard to fish the normal ones out from the slightly less normal ones, and then even the images you consume by mistake will be lurking in the back of your head later.
these counsels are roughly equivalent to "know who god is firmly, so that you are not tempted to worship impostors" (since, unless the trouble is with dating women in the real world, your issue will invariably be with thought-phantoms or images, either toward particular characters or particular words or gestures - "bodies/geometries without souls", meaning the fight is implicitly and largely also against idolatry, qua romans 1:23-25) ... as well as "don't spend a lot of time doing things that will put you in a tricky spot physically or mentally later" - as the apostle peter (who had his own trouble with staying afloat in the waters) says, "be sober and watchful".
a stranger route (but do the previous stuff as well) ... i found very strongly this is true - god himself provides a sort of "triple entendre" or "reverse innuendo" to the double entendre and innuendo of corrupted imagery and language (all corrupt imagery and language) in the sacred mysteries - and generally speaking, the more corrupt the item, the more profound and central the mystery that purifies it - this isn't to equate the substance of these items with the mysteries (though sometimes, narrowly and prudently this can be so), but the shapes are often carried between them in a "word/geometry pun" sort of way. there will be depths of this for all levels of what you need - words, colours and shapes, even letters, numbers and lines can be all integrated into the purifying waters of the living god ... one gains very much from loving and being familiar with the scriptures, even its obscure corners - it is a wellspring from which all imagery and language finds its arresting power.
may the holy infant and his most pure mother bless you!
oh i wish i knew (laughs) i suppose some people thought itd be obvious, umm, in reality theres quite a lot of them ... i'd probably be a steel or normal type gym leader by typing. in honour of your question i want to make a large picture detailing all the pokemon i like and the reasons i think they are cool - wait a little bit, and forgive me, please!
drawing (O Sapientia)
date: december 17 2024
you have hidden these things from the learned and from the clever and revealed them to mere children.
drawings/collages
date: december 16 2024
more comments
date: december 12 2024
oh it does it does! haha
ohh, this is fun...
date: december 11 2024
i drew a test calendar for the "hearts" season of 2025. don't you just feel like using this...? i want to finish the rest of them and print it out.
(note to myself: theres a priest i want to meet with who lives a couple streets away from me...)
post of the day
date: december 11 2024
im watching videos about poker on youtube, and looking at this webpage.
i'd love to buy an actual calendar like this...
(got the sheet music to this from amazon, its arrived today - i want to arrange it before christmas.)
edit to sceptre
more comments
date: december 10 2024
thanks! (feel free to send any songs too, i like listening to these...)
i was raised jewish, a mixture of sephardi and ashkenazi lineage, wasn't very religious besides going to synagogue on saturday, had sort of a secular education in a jewish school. ... i think i developed far more of a love of judaism after my conversion than before. i don't know that they understand it, but my mother and brother did go with me to rome on a holiday, and were there at my baptism too.
drawing
date: december 9 2024
drawing that came to mind during mass today
new reply/buttons + prayer requests disclaimer
date: december 9 2024
yay!! thank you - things have been better as of late. ... i have dms on twitter, i haven't found the button on the other webpage yet...
i've added some buttons, but they don't do anything except for me. (laughs) they're just easy ways to check messages/upload pictures/add new posts. "we have twitter at home"
(there are a couple prayer requests in the inbox - i won't post these if they are sensitive, but i will be praying for them! thank you.)
new sangcorp album + disclaimer
date: december 8 2024
happy solemnity of the immaculate conception for monday...! hooray!!!
(if you have a reply that feels inappropriate for airing into someone's throwaway website guestbook, feel free to shoot me an email here: jirachi432@gmail.com)
thinking about mario/responding to comments
date: december 8 2024
it's saint peter! (the reasons for this are quite manifold, and is in part why i like finding so many parallels between the faith and videogames etc ...) - a friend from chiptunes that helped me in entering the church was called peter, but my chiptune name has been "kfaraday" for many years - (you didn't ask, but long story incoming) ... i based it on an girl in the ace attorney games with a key in her hair called "kay faraday", but i learned that when st. peter is given his name by our lord, and the keys of heaven, the name he was given in our lord's original language was "kayfa" - "i have called you by your name, you are mine" ... !"
... at some point i ended up liking the pokemon klefki because it sounds like "keffie", the nickname version of my musician name - and it was only a few weeks ago that i had learned from the gamefreak leaks that it too was based on the keys of saint peter. there is even more, and i can keep talking, but i wonder if i would run out of blog space if i kept going.
yay thank you!!!
my husband sent me a selfie.
its baptismal that mario can go into the water in super mario 64 and then be healed even if he was on low health before!
various pictures
date: december 8 2024
... i am missing like a billion things over this weekend ... sobs
the bunny guards here are called "LAYLA" (right) and "ALAYLA" (left) - an eagle eyed viewer will be able to spot why.
hello
date: december 8 2024
i used to have a blog, i want to try to make another one.
